I am not ashamed to admit I listen to Ian ‘Macca’ McNamara on a Sunday morning, when I get the chance on ABC Radio. This is usually as my wife and I drive up to our bush retreat near Bulahdelah – very early on a Sunday morning, although this last Sunday, being Father’s Day, I was permitted to have the show on in the house.

This week Macca interviewed a chap who had “gone bush” with his family and was living in a remote area of Northern Victoria. His children were educated through distant education and he was very much into giving them experiences that many in the towns and cities of Australia now never have.

What stood out was his enthusiasm for allowing his children to do “risky” activities like climbing trees and chopping wood – precious fuel that they depended on as a household. He also spoke of a recent experience he had with his eldest son where they went away for an organised “right de passé” four day retreat. During this time the young man learnt more about personal responsibility by having to cook and fend for himself. The father’s point being, amongst other things, that teaching our children a sense of responsibility for their actions was crucial in being a successful parent and equipping the next generation to be useful adults when their turn comes.

Much of what he said resonated strongly with me, and it really does concern me when I hear about the increase in “risk-aversion” within the schooling environment and within our own family environments from something as basic as parents cocooning their kids from getting too cold or too hot. I remember being instructed a few years ago by an insurance expert when I was a Headmaster of a school out west, that the balance-bench in a gymnastic program now needs to be placed on the ground, and even then it must be surrounded by protective mats. What kind of activity is left for such an event – walking along a blank placed on the floor-boards?

Are we becoming so “over-protective” of our children that they are losing out on discovering consequences for their actions or mistakes that they make? Are we limiting them in such a way that they miss out on the thrill of reasonable risk? By doing nearly everything for them, are we lessening their opportunity to be independent and gain a mature sense of responsibility? How will they learn about individual responsibility for their decisions and behaviours when we make so many decisions for them?

As we farewell our Year 12 graduates this week, I sincerely hope that they are young men well equipped to face a world that will not really care whether they succeed or fail; young men who are indeed self-starters and as independent as they need to be to prepare their own budgets, to clean their flats, and to get to lectures on time or arrive at their jobs when expected. Young men who can anticipate the consequences of their decisions and actions, and if needed will be prepared to front up and take full responsibility for what they do with their lives.

The unknown, but wise author, of the Book of Proverbs wrote:

“Young men don’t forget what I have taught you. Always remember what I tell you to do. My teaching will give you a long and prosperous life. Never let go of loyalty and faithfulness. Tie them round your neck; write them on your heart. If you do this, both God and adults will be pleased with you. Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the LORD in all that you do, and He will show you the right way to go.” (Proverbs 3:1-6)

Rev David N. Williams
College Chaplain