The final Newington Ethics Centre lecture for 2013 was by no means one of the least controversial. In fact the pursuit of happiness was scrutinized as one of humanity’s least commendable quests.

Dr Hugh Mackay, social commentator and author of nine books in the field of social psychology and philosophy, addressed a near capacity audience in the Old Boys Lecture Theatre on the premise that setting up happiness as a goal of human life guarantees that we will spend much of life disappointed!

In his most recent book The Good Life, subtitled What makes a life worth living?, he challenges us with the question: “Why do we have the idea that happiness is the default position? It is just one emotion among many—and the happiness movement overlooks the spectrum of human emotions needed to develop emotional maturity.”

Dr Mackay argued on the night to the senior boys and wider community that sadness and disappointment have as much, if not more, to teach us about humanity. How do we learn to empathise with others without our own failures, for example?

While he was not advocating that we go looking for pain, he did remind the audience that it is in our folklore and that adversity is a teacher which helps us grow through pain.

Dr Mackay said, “I am worried when I hear parents say, ‘I just want my kids to be happy’”, and he cautioned against always helping children to avoid pain with a ‘cheer up, chin up’ response to their sadness.

So what might “the good life” look like if we are to avoid seeking happiness all the time (a condition Dr Mackay suggested would be “a dreadful state!”)?

Parents, he suggested, could make the distinction for their children between seeking ‘meaning in their lives’ and ‘happiness in their lives’; and that the best predictors of positivity are self discipline and self respect—not self esteem!

So the good life is in fact a morally praiseworthy life, lived for others. The most powerful descriptor of someone living the good life is someone with a loving and charitable disposition.

“You can’t have love alone, it is about engagement with ‘another’”, said Dr Mackay.

“We are by nature competitive, aggressive, even violent but a deeper truth is that we are also cooperative, social, selfless, caring and altruistic. We are social creatures; we congregate in cities, communities sustain us, and communities need to be nurtured. The important question is not ‘who am I?’ but ‘who are we?’.

So as the public lecture program hosted by the Centre for Ethics draws to a close, after what has been an extraordinary year, we are left with some ethics ‘homework’.

Answer these questions – you have a lifetime.

What will be your living legacy in the good life? Will you enrich the good life of others by their encounters with you?