When near 200 parents gathered in Centenary Hall, to hear the third speaker in the P&F’s series of Parent Forums for 2012, they were warned by Paul Dillon that he would be delivering a “brutal wake-up call”. Founder of Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia and a former school teacher, Paul has been working in the area of drug education for the past 25 years conducting drug information sessions and workshops for school students and parents across Australia and internationally. His best-selling book for parents Teenagers, Alcohol and Drugs was released in 2009.

“I believe we are on the cusp of significant change,” he predicted at the timely sessions held at Newington College last week for our Years 10 -12 boys. “While schools have a role to deliver education about the consequences of drug and alcohol abuse it is firmly parents’ role to navigate the permissions and consequences for their children.”

Some of Paul’s statistics were initially reassuring. The number of young people 12 -17 years who report NOT using illicit drugs is the lowest it has been for 20 years. However the position on alcohol is very different and Paul has found, “parents are not keen to hear the message that research suggests ‘parent influence’ is firmly a cause of increased alcohol abuse in underage drinkers”.

Social influence, advertising and sport culture have always been identified as causal in the early uptake of alcohol. Now more worryingly Paul suggests that images on Facebook of intoxicated behaviour being seen as a badge of honour, few social situations without alcohol in the home and 65% of 12 year olds reporting they have had alcoholic drink with adult supervision, means we are in a new and dangerous area of acceptance.

“Children need parents who make tough decisions, who accept not being ‘liked’, who delay for as long as possible any alcohol consumption by their children,” said Paul.

So what can parents do when challenged by their disgruntled teens to supply alcohol or accept that other parents do? From Paul’s point of view, having seen so many families who have suffered the consequences of alcohol related tragedy, the answer is simple.

“I wish I could give you the answer you want to hear but – you’re an adolescent – so I cant.”

Paul Dillion believes there can be a shift in parenting from high level warmth until 10 years of age to a firm, high expectation discipline through to at least 16 years: where no means no; where actions speak louder than words; where you expect a lot from your children and where you afford them a lot of responsibility – all because you love them very much.”

And because your children need you to be the adult – always be willing to be the solution to your children’s social challenges. “My parents won’t let me”…is very acceptable.