I recently attended a School Nurses conference in Melbourne where Dr Michael Carr-Gregg, a well-known Psychologist spoke. I wanted to share some of his thoughts as the month of October is Mental Health Awareness month. This year the theme is “Share the Journey” which focuses on the importance of social connections.

Research tells us that feeling connected, valued and loved by others gives us a sense of security, support, purpose and happiness. Close connections with others allows us to enjoy the good times but also helps us deal with the hard experiences we all face. Dr Carr-Gregg suggests that if parents are wondering how their child is going that they could ponder these questions as a starting point:

Does your child have friends?Have they emancipated from their parents or adult carers?Do they understand and enjoy school?Have they got a ‘spark’ – something that they feel passionate about?

He has 10 thoughts to help us build a positive outlook.

1. When we are together everything is better. Strong and broad social relationships are happier and healthier. 

2. If you can’t change it, change the way you think. 

3. See life as it is, focus on the good bits. 

4. Be active, relax, rest – repeat daily. 

5. If you want to feel good, do good. 

6. There’s more to life when you stop and notice. 

7. Find time to lose yourself in what you love. 

8. The meaning of life is a life with meaning. 

9. Hope, it helps to know what you are looking forward to. 

10. Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outsides. 

And for parents sound advice to help deal with conflict from ‘teenage brains under construction

• Keep calm Don’t talk too much
• Look for compromise
• Use humour
• Avoid ultimatums as they will be tested!
• Only argue over things that matter
• Do not remind them of past mistakes
• Set clear boundaries
• When they get angry, keep calm
• Talk while doing something together

On a personal note having supported a family member with anxiety, which was most distressing. I hadn’t thought of the positives that came with it. I was amazed at what we all learned as a family.

The person themselves discovered their unique wonderful qualities and character differences that made them see things and react the way they did. They learned to recognise causes of their anxiety, to understand their emotions and find ways to cope and hopefully manage them – a continuing process.  We as a family learned to listen, really listen so that anything could be said without taking offence. Every one of us played a different role to support not only the person but also each other. In a sense this adversity tested us and although we were initially shaken, it strengthened us. If we are not learning, then we are not living.

I guess in a way I have returned to the theme – Share the Journey!

Sister Margaret Bates
School Nurse