The Ethics Centre took a turn for the dark and satirical in the last lecture for 2016 held on Thursday 8 September. Featuring guest speaker Stephen Mushin – industrial designer and illustrator by day and venture capitalist with an eye on the Arctic by night – the lecture kicked off with the pressing question: What’s going to happen to Polar Bears once the Arctic Ice Caps melt? 

“By 2020 the Arctic will be ice free! What a great opportunity” proposed Stephen.

“The polar bears only live in the North Pole and that’s where opportunity lies. As the earth heats up due to climate change, the North Pole and South Pole are affected more than the rest of the world. As the ice melts the bears are forced to spend more and more time on the land. They are getting corralled, they are getting displaced to the land, and so, that can be quite interesting!”

From here on, Stephen began elaborating on a plan to farm polar bear that involves creating ‘Freezerbergs’ – all of the freezers in Melbourne bounded together to simulate the Bear’s natural habitat –  and transplanting the whole Arctic ecosystem to ensure that the polar bears survive.

He then suggested taking all the discarded exercise bikes in the world and giving it to teaching the Polar Bears ho to ride them so they can generate their own electricity to maintain the Freezerbergs.

“Maybe the bears could use them, maybe the bears could keep the freezers working” he said.

But of course, sustaining the Freezerbergs would require more than just the leg power of the displaced Polar Bears. Investors and shareholders would need to be invited to the Freezerbergs to help fund the project into the future.

“They can bring their own freezers too” Stephen said about the tourists.

“And maybe in exchange, we can give them polar bear hoodies and feed them bear burgers. Burgers are very popular these days!”.  This would counter the ageing population of Polar Bears, which he declared would be more than necessary once the bears had outgrown the cute size fit to be featured on a ten year old’s hoodie.

As Stephen’s plans of polar bear empire-building grew and grew, it became more and more obvious that “the Ethical” Polar Bear Hoodie and Burger Company was in itself lacking a moral backbone. Where was the argument about animal welfare, about sustainability and about corporate responsibility to maintain a fair and transparent business?

The Polar Bear Hoodie and Burger Company demonstrated through tongue-in-cheek mimcry of a sales pitch for a million dollar investment opportunity, the greatest irony of late capitalism and the environmental greens movement. Stephen’s pitch suggested that in Capitalism’s search for an economic utopia, morality and concern for life and freedom is discarded for profit and gain.

Stephen returns in Term 4 to be a guest speaker at this year’s STEM Festival so stay tuned for more developments on The Polar Bear Hoodie and Burger Company.