I Thessalonians 2:15-16 – ‘For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.

Last Saturday, I had the honour of attending a school reunion with the cohort of those who were my classmates, thirty years ago. Throughout the night, much laughter was shared and memories were reminisced amongst fellow schoolmates whom now represent a broad cross section of men whom genuinely form the spine of our broad community. Although I didn’t attend Newington College, it is widely known that the very same sentiment is regularly shared here at Newington within our esteemed alumni community. This event reminded me of how important it is for all of us to treasure the bonds we make in our formative stage in life, as cherished friendships are an invaluable gift.

After searching through views on how to build cherished friendships, there appears to be a consistent thread of teaching amongst psychologists, ministers and educators, namely: ‘true friendships take time to develop’, ‘friendships are revealed through adversity’, and ‘to be a cherished friend, you must start to cherish being a friend.’

Cherished friendships take time to develop – Rick Warren, a famous American church leader has quoted, “…Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough to just say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless… Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E…” There is no doubt that most of us live in a busy world where time appears to be one of the most valuable commodities. This is why the choice to make time for our mates is a reflection of how much we value them. This could be short, yet consistent stints of time, or it could be planned or spontaneous hangouts where views are shared and memories are created.

True friendships are revealed through adversity – As much as we hate tough times, particularly tragedies, true friendships are born in such times. As John Churton Collins once said, “In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” Next time a challenging time comes your way, look around you for the people (or person) who stands by you in support and encouragement.

To be a cherished friend, start by cherishing being a friend – The verse from Thessalonians quoted above, highlights how the apostle Paul (Saint Paul) valued his friendships with his Christian brothers amongst the churches in Thessalonica (An ancient port city in Greece). He referred to them as being his ‘glory and joy’. A test of how much we personally value friendship can be found in how we view our friends; are they our ‘glory and joy’?

With the annual Cadet and Newington Challenge camps fast approaching, along with the pressures of exams upon many of our students, it is a great opportunity for our boys to consider valuing the long-standing bonds of friendship that such times promote, and to take the opportunity to kindle cherished friendships.

Rev Geordie Barham
College Chaplain