Dreams: Set some goals, make them happen!

The ability to set goals and achieve them is an extremely useful skill to have in many aspects of our lives.  For some of us this comes naturally, others find it more difficult to structure their lives in order to achieve their dreams.  The good news is that we can all learn to be better at goal-setting by taking some very deliberate steps.

Part of achieving goals is the feeling of mastery and a sense of having control over one’s own destiny. Youngsters benefit greatly from learning goal-setting skills and at Newington we intend for our boys to have this element of mastery and internal locus of control in different facets of their lives.  We, as the Newington community, can all help the boys to set and achieve their own goals.

How can we help?

They’re doing it already! All of us are motivated to achieve in particular areas.  Look for ways that your child is already using goal-setting techniques.  If a child has shown great success in their favourite subject at school, or saving up to buy a particular toy, talk about how good it feels to achieve.  Apply what they do in that aspect of their lives to improving in another area they believe could be developed, like their relationship with a sibling, for example.

Know what they dream about!  As adults we can be alert to the wishes and desires of our boys.  What do they wish to learn, do, create, have, change or overcome? If there is something that your child really wants, why not practice the art of goal-setting to make it happen?

Be the change you want to see!  Young people learn more from us than just what we intend to teach them explicitly.  As parents and teachers, if we set our own goals and include the boys in our planning for how to achieve them, we can become a great goal-setting role model.

Be SMART

Before we all head out to set our lofty goals, let’s look at one way that we can structure our goals to make it more likely that we will achieve them.  Goals may be in any area of our lives be it relationships, health and fitness, homework, sport, reading etc.  What is common in our pursuit of any goal is the way we structure our plan for the greatest chance of success.

S – A specific goal is more manageable than a big, broad goal.  Saying that you want to get better at Math is not as meaningful as wanting to get better at 6 and 7 times tables.

M – A measurable goal is one that you can gauge as you work towards achieving it.  Knowing that you are getting closer to success inspires you to keep trying to get there even though it’s sometimes hard work.  How will you know if you’ve achieved your goal?  Are you shaving seconds off a run?  Do you want to learn to play 3 tunes on the flute?

A – An attainable goal is challenging, but realistic.  If we set goals that are too big, or that we could only achieve one day far off into the future, we are less likely to stick to our plan.  Choose something that is almost (but not quite) within reach.

R – If we are to have a sense of mastery and self-control, then the goals that are set must be relevant to us.  In the case of our boys, they need to be able to choose their own goals and then our job is to support their journey.

T – Giving goals a time frame is also important.  If we set ourselves a boundary within which we would like to achieve our goal, we are more likely to take the necessary steps toward success.

There are many benefits to goal-setting.  It provides structure, encourages persistence, increases problem solving and unleashes potential among other things.  In the following weeks I hope that you get the opportunity to discuss your children’s goals at their student led conference.  Be inspired by your son and why not set your own goals and together you can work together towards achieving them!

Ben Barrington-Higgs – Head of Lindfield Prep