I realise that as I prepare to write this little piece that I am primarily writing these articles every three weeks for parents. Only a few times have I had students talk to me about a Black and White article I might have written – it’s wonderful when it happens but it is much more common that a Newington parent or staff member will raise ideas that I have floated here.

Time is of the essence so I had better get on with it here. I was greatly encouraged in the lead up to Mother’s Day this year to read an article by Veronica Sherman, a freelance writer and mother of four children, about the intrusion of smart phones on her life as a mum. She recognised that the attraction and addictive qualities of the “wonder phone” had meant that she had significantly allowed the smart phone to seriously erode her real time with her kids. Her article was about her change of heart, her epiphany in this regard, and her intention to recommit to treasure real time, without technology intruding and reducing the quality of time that comes once and is then gone forever. She was challenged by reading again the words of the parenting guru Steve Biddulph “time and love are the same thing…spending time is how you love (your kids).”

I am sure that this is something that most of us as parents grapple with, and certainly if it is not our being lured away by technology, it will be our children being disinterested in engaging with us because they are so hooked to their phones, tablets and laptops.

Apparently there now is an app, can you believe this, that helps discipline yourself when it comes to accessing particular websites or over-using a particular device. This indeed is mind-boggling but I am discovering that nothing seems impossible now that we are in the age of apps for logging our sleep, our pulse throughout the day, and the number of calories we are burning throughout the day, and so on and so forth.

The crux of this issue is that if we are not careful then the one-on-one time between us and our children will disappear. We need to guard this at all costs. To place a priority upon real time together as a family – reading together, arguing together, playing games together and eating together. Have a family conference if you need to so that you can redefine these things in your family. Set specific times during the evening and week that are sacrosanct. If your children are under 12 or 13 years old this will be easier – start as early as possible to lay the ground-rules for such things. If you need help with negotiating this with your teenagers then let us know – we are getting pretty experienced at running mediations and refereeing between parents and our young men.

I don’t have a Bible verse for you on this but can simply say the Good God will bless you as you see to offer love through finding time together in your homes.

Rev David Williams
College Chaplain