How often do we see talented sportspeople crash and burn after only a few years in the limelight? Now of course I am not going to name any names, but for me there have been two amazingly talented sportsmen who are on the verge of that disastrous decent into oblivion.  One is a tennis player and one is a rugby league player; both of these young men are nearing the top of their game but a succession of poor decisions and also, I believe, a lack of mentoring has seen them teetering on the brink of disappearing into sporting, and possibly even personal, obscurity.

The tennis player is probably the most talented young player that this country has ever bred.  He is agile, tall and incredibly psychologically competitive – he was born to play tennis.  Furthermore he is very popular especially with young tennis players in this country, and his young devotees unfortunately mimic his every move.  The problem is our young talented tennis hero has yet to find a way of curbing his on court profanities and extreme outbursts of uncontrolled behaviour, to the extent that he has been dropped from the Australian Davis Cup team.  Now I acknowledge it must be hard to be under the “spotlight” all the time – both on and off the court.  The problem is that his undisciplined, and ill-controlled behaviour has the potential to seriously limit his future in tennis and later as a well-balanced, contributing member of society.  There are consequences for out of control antics – the repercussions can be enormous.

The rugby league player’s situation is slightly different but it’s the same scenario in the sense that uncontrolled behaviour is putting this young man’s future in jeopardy.  Some unfortunate moments of this chap’s partying behaviour, fuelled by booze (and possible other substances), recorded on a mobile device have led this league player to be sanctioned and possibly ejected from his club, and possibly the NRL.

There are two strong observations we can make from these headlining sports disasters: the first is that stupid and ill-disciplined behaviour has serious knock on effects in our life (and the life of our young men). We should be used to having boundaries set early by our parents so that later on we have a moral sense of control to behave in ways that will not bring us into disrepute or damage other people around us. 

The second observation I make is to ask the question where are the close, strong and mature mentors to these two talented athletes?  Surely to an extent these two have been let down by the mentors around them – positive and older role models play such a vital role in the lives of our young people.

I hope I still have quite a number of parents still reading this short little article. I love sport and I love seeing success thrive however, expectations for good behaviour and moral boundaries need to be set by us as parents’ right from the start of a child’s life. It is too late when our kids reach the middle teens.

Secondly, our young lads need positive, mature and close mentors who they can look up to and model.  Be innovative in creating opportunities for your sons (and daughters) to meet such people and spend time with them in this school community and in your extended family.

Read Steve Biddulph or Dr Michael Carr-Gregg – they agree with this approach. Call it tough love if you like, but it works and here is a short passage from one of my favourite places in the Bible:

“8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  (Hebrews 12)

Rev David Williams
College Chaplain